"Look like you give a damn."

If you’re not a member of the black blogosphere, you probably haven’t heard about the slip up from skin care company Nivea. The above picture was featured in the most recent issue of Esquire and internet-using negroes lost their minds. L.C. and I discuss the advertizing ramifications of this ad.

I, Landis, think this ad was run knowing the commotion it was going to cause. L.C. thinks this is yet another one that can be marked in the Ignorance column. These days, it seems Ignorance is winning, doesn’t it?

Landis: How does stuff like this keep happening, these days?

LaurenChristina: because a lot of people truly believe we are post racial
so they don’t connect the dots.

Landis: True. I forgot we have a (half) black president.
Everything is gravy now. (can you taste the sarcasm?)

LaurenChristina: right.
would we be upset if the model was white?

Landis: No, there would be no negative reaction because white people aren’t in a state of racial neurosis, a la that Eating While Black article.
It would be a clean cut white dude holding a scruffy head with flowing locs and no one would be offended.
But, I also think that this was done intentionally.
Not to offend — well, yes to offend — but to get a lot of attention.
I think when black models and actors are chosen, it’s done intentionally.
“We have to get the urban demographic with this.”
And, if you’re targeting black people, you will be thinking of ways to connect.
You have someone in the office that is your resident negrometer (pronounce nee-grah-mit-er).

LaurenChristina: yea but this ad hurts the brand
and hurting the brand means making less money

Landis: No it doesn’t. This ad was to try and penetrate a new group of people.
They aren’t going to LOSE anyone.

LaurenChristina: negative
I absolutely disagree
every major brand that has any African American clients has specific ads that are geared toward us
that is standard
that’s why there are multicultural marketing and advertising agencies
the goal is to get MORE people to buy the product
by putting someone that looks like them in the ad
that’s standard practice
by using a model, slogan or image that is offensive to that target you are alienating a LARGE portion of your client base
therefore decreasing profits
which goes against the basic principle of any corporation
this is a case of poor judgment
plain and simple
i’ve seen many Nivea ads in Essence where it’s a naked black woman covered by the lotion bottle
and the same ad with a white woman
in white mags
rant over

Landis: I know you don’t have a mental history, but can you recall Nivea ads targeted toward black men?

LaurenChristina: no
but i’ve never seen lotion marketed to men

Landis: That’s what my point is.
Nivea is NOW marketing this product to black men.
So, in an attempt to make a quick wave, they will knowingly release this marginally offensive ad because it’s going to get so much run in the black blogosphere and Reverend Slick Back will come out with a statement against it.
While all this is negative press, it’s still press.
And it’s now in the face of black people on the mouth of thought leaders.
They have easily penetrated the group they wanted with one ad.
And their product is known.
I would have no idea about this product were it not for this uproar.
Honestly, I still don’t even know what it is advertising. But, I know Nivea wants me to buy something.
Nivea is #winning.

LaurenChristina: they aren’t though
people keep saying all press is good press
and that’s simply not true.
they are surely in crisis mode right now in their communications department
no brand grows because al sharpton or jesse jackson is calling for people to boycott it.
the psychology of the consumer is such that there are those who will maintain brand loyalty because they like the product
and there are those who will consciously not buy it because of their negative depiction of black men
i think what you’re missing is that brand awareness doesn’t equal dollars and cents.
just because more black men know about it, fewer will actually buy it
the average black man will not see an ad that is implying they are uncivilized and then run out and buy it
do you see what i’m saying.

Landis: I do.
And I am seeing this differently.
I don’t think it’s as much of a sh!t storm as you do.
There are no black men in shackles. There are no bones through noses.
It’s a clean cut dude holding an afro.
I think most black people, men specifically, will look at this ad and not have a second thought.
It’s the hyper sensitive people that will see racial injustice.
Since this ad is going to appear all over the blogosphere and on the news, people will be able to look at it, understand Nivea wants them to buy something, and have a chance to decide if they think they should be offended.
If a person thinks it’s offensive they won’t buy it. If they don’t deem it offensive, they now know about a product that can help them clean up.
Nivea’s apology was soft because they knew it wasn’t extremely offensive.
If they were sincerely concerned their statement would have been filled with a lot more back-stepping.

LaurenChristina: i think we should agree to disagree

–the end–

Until next time…

What are your thoughts on this ad? Let the discourse begin.

For a couple of weeks, the topic of women balancing a love life and a work life has been popping up on Twitter (you should follow LaurenChristina if she lets you @MsLaLa02 and me @Landis91) and it has been the topic of two of my online radio shows. So, I brought it up to L.C. and this is what ensued.

Landis: Do you think it’s difficult to balance work and a love life?

LaurenChristina: right now? no
but that’s because i don’t have a love life really.
i think sometimes it’s a problem in terms of being responsive
or being able to do things last minute
but in general no
was that the topic of ya’ll’s show? (Landis’ note: I love the effective use of the double apostrophe. LC is grammar forward.)

Landis: Yea.

LaurenChristina: what was the consensus?

Landis: No consensus.
Some think it’s hard. Some say it’s easy.
Which proves my point that women choose to choose between love and career.

LaurenChristina: I think it depends on your career
some women are in more high powered careers and there are men who find that a turnoff

Landis: The only men that find that a turn off are punk men that can’t handle an independent woman.

LaurenChristina: well those do exist

Landis: But they are not the majority.
If women are dealing with men that find strength a turn off then you shouldn’t be dealing with them in the first place.

LaurenChristina: i agree 100 percent
but what I’m saying is, there are women out there who have had the experience of dealing with someone who can’t a handle a high powered career — a weak man as you’ve said — and for a woman who has heard that over and over again, she decides that she needs to make a choice

Landis: She does.
Stick with these weak dudes or find a better pool of men.

LaurenChristina: that seems like the logical choice
but most females aren’t logical*

Landis: At the same juncture that lead me to say “get a better man or stick with a punk” what does an illogical woman think?

LaurenChristina: that she needs to choose between career and a man.

Landis: A loser man is her only option?

LaurenChristina: no.
you’re missing what i’m saying.

Landis: What are you saying?

LaurenChristina: that the woman will feel like she’s forced to make a choice
to change her behavior that made her miss out on “that dude”
in many cases she won’t see that it’s his issue, not hers.

Landis: Thus, making my point. Women CHOOSE to choose between love and a relationship?

LaurenChristina: i know.
we agree
we differ on the reason.

Landis: Gotcha. I blame the man. You blame the woman?

LaurenChristina: blame is a strong word

–the end–

Kind of. What do you think about a woman’s balance of work and love? Is Landis all wrong? Let us know your struggle.

*LC Note: I will expound on why I say most females — including myself – aren’t logical in the near future.

I have a strict policy about mixing business with pleasure: I don’t do it. No ifs ands or buts about it. I can do things socially with co-workers, but a co-worker would have to be very special for me to invite them in to my life outside the office.  This is especially true for my life on social networking sites.  I do not believe in allowing co-workers to become facebook friends, follow me on twitter, know where I am every minute of the day via 4square (if I were to use it), etc.  When I leave the office, I don’t want anyone in the office knowing about after hours/weekend LC.

Earlier in my career, I allowed fellow interns to become facebook friends. While there were no major catastrophes, there were instances when I regretted. So I have since decided that in order to avoid similar situations, I will not invite them in to my life beyond what I choose to share at work.  

You can imagine how offputting it was when my boss discovered my twitter alias and then proceeded to share it with other colleagues in a meeting.  Prior to this incident, I clearly expressed, I do not mix business and facebook. Yet she still thought this was ok. Why she thought this was ok is a whole other Oprah Show.  So this morning, in my most poised, professional tone, I sent the message — in no uncertain terms — “Don’t do that shit again”.  She understood, apologized and we moved on, but after it was done, I started to wonder if I chose the right course of action.

In a world where employers often examine your social networking profiles and persona to determine if you’d be a worthy candidate for their organization, I think it’s only fair that I am uber protective of myself. I also don’t want my boss to think she can say whatever the hell she wants to. But I’m curious how others handle similar situations. Is it appropriate to get drinks with your boss on rare ocassions, but then deny her on facebook? Is it to spend most of your days with co-workers, but then not want them to know what you’re doing after work?

Part II coming soon….boundaries with friends.

Aside from being a funny statement, and a creative way to show where his moral lines are drawn, this statement got me to thinking about Jesus and the things that he might actually do. If you think about it, J.C. was a man of flesh and bone. And, like I addressed in my previous post, boys will be boys. So, just because his mother was a virgin, that doesn’t mean he wasn’t a regular dude like us.

Since the prevailing thought amongst pedants is that the man known as Yeshua was most likely of Semetic decent, I like to picture Jesus like a 6 ft. black man that…

…Uses the N-word

Jesus was a patient dude. But, sometimes, when your patience runs thin, the N-word is all you have to say to properly express your dismay. I picture Judas’ betrayal going something like this:

Judas: I don’t know you man… Go thaaaaat way.
Jesus: That’s how you feel, Judas? Ok. That’s strike one.

Judas: Real recognize real, Jesus. And right now, you’re looking real unfamiliar, Jesus. Where did Jesus go? Who are you, strange man?
Jesus: Really, Judas? For 30 silver coins? That’s what I mean to you? Don’t let it happen again.

Judas: ::Jadakiss-esque Mwuuuuaaaaahh!::
Jesus: N*gga……….. for real? After all, I’ve done for you? This is how you do me, n*gga? I see you. Pop, you see this ni*gga? I TOLD YOU he was a snitch.

…drinks

[Before people jump down my throat on some "Jesus would never sin!" stuff, it's not a sin to drink. The sin is when you become intoxicated, thus not fully being in control of your body.]

We can start with the obvious reference of Jesus turning water into wine. He was at a wedding and the spirits had run out (no pun intended?). So, Jesus, being the people-pleaser that he is, kept the party going by having the servants turn six jugs of water into the best tasting wine of the night. You can’t tell me that a man made some miraculous wine and didn’t test it out himself? N*gga, please.

Secondly, this man walked the desert for years and years (and years and years). You don’t think, when he was done, all he wanted to do was kick his sandals of and crack open a cold one?

…was a pimp.
Jesus was a man, right? And men have carnal urges. I don’t think Jesus was any different. I just think Jesus’ game was immaculate (you see what I did there?) He was probably on some ol’ Josh Harnett-ass, 40-Days-and-40-Nights-ass stuff.

Women love a mysterious man. How much more mysterious can a man get than decades of his life being undocumented by history? He was so nice, a woman had been bleeding for 12 years (do they even make products for that?), and all she had to do was touch his garment and the bleeding stopped. Now THAT is how you treat a woman.

Not only was Jesus nice with the mack, but he knows how to keep a secret. Like any other man scorned, when he was done with Mary Magdeline, he pulled that salty-guy move and said, “Man, that chick is a ho.” But, Jesus’ word goes a lot further than just her reputation. He had her whole place in history reversed and hidden. DAMN.

If that is not someone men strive to be like, who else is there?

I don’t intend on getting too much positive feedback on this post, but feel free to tell me how you feel in the comments section.

Have Fun.

Hey girl how you doing
Do you feel like talking?
Or do you need me to call you back
You from round what way and when’s your birthday
Or what’s your zodiac sign (I’m an Aries)
Well I’m a Virgo so my sign’s compatible
What you do for fun cause I don’t drink or club
I just like to chill with somebody like you

[Chorus]
Everything is cool when love is all brand new
Cause you’re learning me and I’m learning you (it’s cool)
Cause you’re learning me and I’m learning you

(I would have posted the video, but it doesn’t seem to exist)

And thus begins the dilemma: How much of the real should be revealed in the early stages?

I’ve never been good at putting on airs. Anyone who knows me will tell you I have an extremely expressive face. I can (and do) bite my tongue, but no dice with the face. So when getting to know a man, if there’s something I don’t like, he will find out instantly– even if I don’t mean for it to happen that way.  This coupled with my natural awkwardness makes it hard for me to play the game.  

Case in point…

I went on a date with a nuclear physicist recently. (A Black one at that!) We met a while ago, but he’s spent most of the summer traveling, so we weren’t able to connect until recently. I accepted the date because he is good on paper (30, employed, intelligent, no kids, not married, non-smoker, goes to my church, getting a Phd, etc.) Physically not so much, but I don’t have a specific physical type,  so I decided to go.  Plus it was close to the end of the month and mama needed a good meal  

Everything went well until the end when he called his mama. While I was standing there.

I tried to give him some space to have his conversation in private, but he kept moving closer to me. He wasn’t giving her the rundown on me — though I assume he did on the way home — but it was a slight turnoff.  I envisioned a future of him calling his mama to check in during an argument — or worse yet, a moment of intimacy.  I fully support a man that maintains a good, strong relationship with his mama, but there are some limits.

I didn’t let it register on my face that I thought twice about it. Or at least not intentionally. He walked me to the car and we hugged. He made some joke about me touching his “spot”. All I could think to myself was sir, you can’t seriously have just had a conversation with your mama and in the same breath be talking to me about your spot. Those two things just don’t go together.

It got more awkward when I said that I was meeting my bestest in DC, but needed to go home and change first. He offered to follow me home. I politely declined, but he was like a dog with a bone and wouldn’t let it go. Finally, a bit more firm this time, I said no thanks and jumped in my car. ( I didn’t know him from a can of paint. It’s one thing to see the make/model and license plate of my car. But sir, I will not invite you anywhere near my apartment on the first date. He must not watch Criminal Minds)

I sent him a text saying thanks for a great evening and he shared the same sentiment but knew that I probably wouldn’t talk to him again. Between his mama and his forwardness about his spot, I was kind of put off and I think he could tell. Whenever I pass his number in my phone book — which I’ve saved to avoid the “Who is This? dance that will inevitably happen IF he contacts me again — I giggle to myself and think that this was just a case of too much too soon.

What do you think? Am I being too picky?

I should couch this with some additional information: The night before our date, he texted me around 11:30 (I remember because it was in the middle of me watching my DVR’d episode of Bethenny Getting Married? which i only watch after I’ve watched my DVR’d episode of the Ultimate Merger which both come on at 10 pm) and asked if I wanted to come over. Not only was it forward of him to text me during booty call hours, he tells me that his back hurts. Which implied he wanted it to be rubbed. Which after our date I learned was his “spot”.) SIR!!!!! I politely declined and said that I would see him the next day.

OK  SO NOW……What do you think? Am I being too picky?

This proves one major thing. Although he circumcises Philippino children in the off-season, can leap tall lineman in a single bound, and can doesn’t do pushups, he pushed the ground down, he is still, and always will be a man.

That means he struggles with everyday things just like we do. And, when the proverbial poop hits the ceiling fan, we will revert back to what is innate in us.

Let me lay out some of the things that men will always struggle with.

Huh?

Landis.
Yes?
How many homeruns does Barry Bonds have?
762.

Landis.
Yes?
What are you most afraid of in life?
Huh?

When a man is confronted with a question that he cannot readily answer, he is always going to throw a filler at you to buy some time. This filler will most often be “huh?”

“Huh?” does not mean that a man is lying to you, nor does it mean that he is trying to think of a lie to tell you. It just means that he is not fully ready to answer this question at the present moment.

He COULD be trying to think of a lie, but don’t assume, because we all know what assuming does, right? Yup. It makes an ass out off you and makes me wish I had lied to you for not trusting me.

Break your neck.

No matter how deeply in love a man is, no matter how long he’s only felt the extravagance of one vagina, no matter how homosexual he is, a man is going to break his neck over a beautiful woman.

I could be walking hand-in-hand with Mariah Carey to Kay jewelers to pick out her wedding ring that I can’t afford, and if Seema Sadekar crosses my path, my neck will whip to the side just as fast as it would if I were watching her ball come off the tee.

Ladies, if you catch your man breaking his neck at another woman, don’t try to call him on it, because he will only answer with “Huh?” Just be happy that your man can still spot a good looking woman, because that probably means he has one on his arm.

Not call

You people like this Usher character, right? He and Ludacris told you that “U Don’t Have to Call.” It’s okaaay giiiiirl. We gon’ be alright, tonight.

Can you chicas afford us the same liberties?

We don’t always think about checking in with the boss about where we’re going. Sometimes, it’s because we don’t want to deal with the unnecessary hassle that is inevitable, sometimes we just plum forget, and other times we have no real reason. Forrest Gump told us that sh!t happens sometimes. “And that’s all… I have to say… about that.”

Men, what are some other things that we will always do, that aren’t meant to drudge up controversy?
Ladies, what are some things that men will always do that you wish they would stop?
Lay them out in the comments section. Let’s see if we can’t help gender relations one post at a time.

Have Fun.

Here are some of the women that have my hopeful heart.

O.G. crush
Reality show crush
ESPN crush

But, I figure I’m a 20something dude trying to find a real girl to chill with, why would I crush on a woman I’ll never meet? That was my mentality, until this woman walked her way onto my TV and into my life.

Seema Sadekar, ameteur golfer, and caste member of Golf Channel’s reality show “Big Break” has got me struggling with this question:

How much is too much when it comes to a grown person’s celebrity crush?

Here are a few rules to let you know if you’re celebrity crush has gone overboard.

1. If you are over the age of 18 (with an exemption to 19-22 year olds still in college) and have posters of celebrities on your wall, you are wrong. It was cool to plaster giant heads on your wall, and litter your desk with cutouts from magazines before you became a grown woman. But, when you’re trying to be a respectable 20something, who’s going to take you seriously when Drake’s big head is on display above your stuffed animal collection?

2. If you’re over the age of 21 and you see concerts of musical “artists” that haven’t reached puberty yet, you are wrong. I don’t care what kind of fever you have, or if you, much like Lil Wayne, are happy that Miley Cyrus is expressing her inner Christina Aguilera…

"In three years, holla at me Miley Cyrus." -Lil Wayne

…you should not be spending portions of your paycheck to see little kids perform. I don’t care how cuh-yute they are. Justin Bieber recently performed near me and I happened to drive by before doors opened. There were LOTS of women that were in the wrong.

3. Lastly, if you get personally offended when people talk down about your crush, you MIIIIIGHT be a little too attached to the idea of that person. I, admittedly, speak from experience on this one. That’s an O.G. crush for a reason. You don’t know this person, you’ll probably never meet this person, and if you do, you will be forgotten in a matter of minutes. So, stop being so grouchy when someone insults your crush. It’s not that serious.

Those are just a few examples of how to spot someone that’s crushed out a little too hard.

What are some other warning signs that a person is a strokes away from the deep end on a celeb?

The other night, I’m at the bar with a few dudes, and we run into a few women who know a few of my dudes. So, that turns into a group chill session with some pretty cool women-ladies.

I do my politic thing and make the rounds conversing with everyone, but my conversation continually gravitates toward one particular female. From our initial conversation about both being that annoying optimist, to having the same preference in sports drink flavors, we had a crazy amount of things in common.

Now, every woman I meet isn’t viewed as a potential date or girlfriend (should it be?), but I do look at the qualities in the ladies I meet and try to judge how I would like those characteristics in someone that I date.

This particular chica had me thinking about what I would prefer in a wifey, someone who shares a lot in common with me, or the anti-Landis.

Check out Joe Buddens’ take on dating yourself in female form (or something like that) and then continue reading after the jump.


My latest approach to finding a potential wife-piece is to go talk to women in places that center around characteristics that I like. I always say I’d like to meet a women in a book store, I talk to ladies at the gym, and I haven’t built up the confidence (or seen a attractive enough women) to talk to someone in yoga classes. But that is my approach to finding a girl that I think I can vibe with. I don’t think I’m going to find the one for me in church, a Justin Beiber concert, or even in a club.

With the aforementioned approach, it seems like I’ll find the type of woman from the other night. She was really fun while we were BSing about sports, music and “fireworks.” We even had a general philosophical discussion about our approach to finding jobs, but, it seems like that’s as far as it would go. I think I’d really enjoy hanging out with her again, but, from my “reading too much into too little” state of mind, it doesn’t seem like we’d make much of a duo in the long term.

I think that’s a good approach, but when I ponder what makes a successful, lasting relationship, it seems like differences are what makes your time together more exciting. If that’s the case, maybe I should find myself a close-minded, church-going, non-sports-playing, hip-hop-hating woman.

Or, perhaps I can go for a fashion-loving, celebrity gossip-following, pocket-dog carrying:

I’m pretty sure those composites aren’t really what I’m going for, but you get the point. If the couple has so much in common that you have no reasonable excuse to be away from the mate, you might end up going Latrell Sprewell on your partner.

What words of wisdom do you have on this topic? Have you been on both sides of this fence? Do you refuse to try one or the other? I’ve been single for a long time. Help me put a stop to that.

At the end of April a friend of my family was killed. He was a childhood friend of my brother and our moms have become close friends over the last 20 plus years.  He was a father, a brother, a son, a fiancee, and a friend to many. His death was both shocking and painful for those who knew him. But what hurts the most, for me at least, is not that he’s gone or that he left two young daughters — one of whom will never know him except through stories and pictures. I struggle with the way he died.

His killers showed blatant disregard for human life when they attacked and left him for dead.  It wasn’t a robbery or an accident, they shot him and walked away. 

I know, it happens everyday. I know, others have suffered the same loss. I know, he won’t be the last. But I still struggle.

I struggle because they didn’t know anything about him. They don’t know that he was  loved by many and adored by his family. They don’t know that he was caring, giving, and wouldn’t hurt a fly. And what’s worse is they don’t give a damn.  

I don’t have a pretty, flowery ending for this post. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about. and struggling.

The only time a guy even comes close to talking to these women is when they are at a bar and a guy buys them a drink or three.

What does it take for a guy to get the attention of a good woman these days?

It seems like it’s wrong to approach a women in a public space. But that can’t be the case. It has to be that all of these dudes are approaching them like every other guy in the world does.

Or perhaps, they are coming at a woman in an inappropriate and/or overbearing manner.

As the guy in the previous clip understands, the ultimate goal in the encounter is to get the phone number and continue this getting-to-know-you process at a later date. But, is there a way to approach a women that starts you off on the right foot?

Some ladies say “as long as he’s respectful, I will talk to him.” While others say, “if I’m out doing things, I don’t want to some man all in my face trying to talk to me.”

So, I put the ball in your court, ladies. What would you like to see men do when approaching you? Should they go the Luther Vandross route?

Perhaps the more confident Charlie Wilson approach would better suit you?

Maybe they are both too low key? Let me know how to pick up women how women like to be approached. Or, if you’re different from most, then let me know what you like, in particular.

Thanks in advance, and I’ll invite you to my wedding if your strategy works for me.